Weddings are Expensive!

If I haven't mentioned it before, my sister in law is getting married.  In, like, two weeks.  She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, and I was and am ecstatic to be a part of her wedding.  Over the years Nicole (yes, Eric's sister's name is also Nicole.  I know, kinda weird and creepy) and I have become very close, neither one of us having a sister.  I love her to death and she's marrying a great guy and none of us can wait for her to start having babies and giving my boys cousins!

The thing is, when I agreed to be a bridesmaid, I had NO idea what kind of cost that would entail.  People, we are poor.  No, really.  We are POOR.  Foodstamps poor.  No car, no cable, use the neighbor's Wifi poor. 

I believe Nicole has tried to make things as easy as possible for me.

I Want to be More of a Cougar

Wait.. not *that* kind of a cougar!  

My son's school's mascot is a Cougar, and today was Cougar Day, basically a field day for the kids.  Lucas acted up at every opportunity: running onto the field during crab soccer, stealing hula hoops from the girls, throwing tantrums when I picked him up... typical two year old stuff. 

Matt seemed to have a lot of fun, but he really sucked at crab soccer!  Probably because he was actually doing the crab walk with a few other stragglers, while the rest of the class just scooted on their behinds, giving their mothers grass stains to deal with, I'm sure.  He did really great in the obstacle course, and loved the tug of war.  I'm glad I got to see it, and I'm sorry that I don't have any pictures.  The batteries died in my crappy camera.  AGAIN.  I've changed the batteries twice already this week, and I'm just about fed up.  If anyone knows of a blogger doing a camera giveaway, please, PLEASE let me know! 

While we were there I saw Samantha's mom.  Samantha is the (only) little girl that came to the boys' birthday party at BounceU.  We talked for a bit.  At yesterday's graduation there was a slide show, and one of the pictures was Matthew and Samantha in a little play house, peeking out the door together.  Too freakin' cute!  So we talked about that.  And some other random, insignificant stuff.  And all the while I'm thinking, how can I be friends with you?  She just seemed to be talking to everyone and I felt like such an outsider. 

In the beginning of the school year I signed up for the PTA.  I missed the very first (out of only 3!) meetings because that's the night I had to rush Lucas to the hospital.  Thanks to my work schedule, I missed the following two meetings as well.  And also thanks to my work schedule, and having Lucas around, I was never able to volunteer during any events.  So basically, I don't know anyone involved with the PTA.  I didn't make any mom friends this year at all.

There were some really cool looking moms there.  One in particular had long hot pink hair, wore her Cougar Day 2012 shirt off the shoulder, and her son's hair was cut in the coolest mohawk I've ever seen.  I want to be friends with her!  Then there was the class mom ( I guess) who seemed to know all kinds of things about Matthew and was really really sweet.  I'd be friends with her, too! 

So what's the problem?  I used to be really outgoing, never had a problem making friends.  Now I barely have any.  We've lived here for four years, so my "we're new" excuse is waaay expired.

The problem is... I'm really embarrassed by how poor we are.  That's it, people, that's why I don't pipe up like I normally would have. 

• Our apartment is kind of small.  And the furniture doesn't really match.  And there's stuff and clutter all over the place.  Seriously, who has a deep freezer and an empty grandfather clock cabinet in their dining room?  So there isn't much space for playdates.
• I live in the projects.  Not really, but apparently they used to be, because when I tell people where we live they always say "Oooohhhh, in the projects!  I know where you're talking about."
• We don't have a car.  "Why don't you meet up with us at (where ever)?  It would be fun!"  "Sounds awesome!  Think there's enough room for me and two extra boosters in your car with you and your kids and your boosters?"  Or, perhaps, "Do you know if there's a bus stop near there?"

  So when I gave Samantha's mom the free passes for BounceU that I've been saving for her since the party, and she suggested we take the kids there all together, I had a mini panic attack in my head.  Yes, that sounds like it would be so much fun, but how the hell would I get there?  I told her I'd Facebook her about it. 

At least now I have a new Facebook friend.

And maybe it's not so bad as I'm making it out to be.  There are places we could meet that I could easily walk to, including the pool and the Crayola Factory (where we haven't been yet).  Maybe I just need to be more creative.  And since Eric started his job and I don't work the weekdays anymore maybe next year I *will* be able to participate more in the PTA.  I *will* be free to volunteer for evening events.  I *will* get to know all the cool moms there, and hopefully the chick with the hot pink hair.

What's Been Going On

I just wish my life had a tiny bit of stability!!

So Eric didn't get the job at TMobile.  They never called him back.  He *did* however get an offer from a warehouse.  He interviewed for that on a Friday and they asked him to start the following Tuesday.  So I went to Kohl's and had all of my weekday shifts covered by other people so that he could start this M-F shift.  The day before he was supposed to start (this was last Monday) they called and told him that the guy he was supposed to be replacing had decided not to leave after all.  FML right? 

He ended up getting an interview for KMart and getting the job over there pending background checks.  When he came home from the interview he was pretty upset.  KMart isn't going to help get us out of our financial hole. 

Yesterday he got a call from the warehouse that didn't need him.  Someone broke their wrist or something and they wanted him to come in today and work for a few weeks.  If he does good they said they'd keep him. 

So guess where he is today.. at WORK!  For the first time since September!  KMart hasn't called back with his start date yet so he's thinking of working both.  He doesn't quite trust the warehouse to keep him even if he busts his butt for them, so he wants something to fall back on.

A much needed, but small and shaky, victory!

Hoping

Eric just left for a job interview.  We really need for this to land.  He's been out of a job for six months now and the only reason we haven't been evicted yet is because our tax returns took care of all that we owed and our landlord was very patient with us.  If Eric doesn't start work soon though, we'll just sink right back down.

I don't want to be poor anymore!  I don't want to have to triage the laundry because we can't afford to do all of it.  I don't want our phone to be out of service until my next paycheck.  I don't want to have to tell my kids "No," because we don't have the cash for the ice cream truck, or a carnival game, or whatever.  I know that there are plenty of free things to do in the spring and summer time, and we do enjoy those.  Sometimes those little extras, that dollar or two, make such a big difference though. 

We don't need much to skate by.  We do get food stamps, and I am very grateful for that, but what I'm bringing home a month wouldn't cover rent even if we didn't have to worry about electric, doing laundry in coin-op machines, detergent, body wash, shampoo, diapers, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc etc etc.  Plus, we are still paying $250/month for a car that doesn't work!  Just having enough, every month, to pay all of our bills and restock the things we need would be great.  I can't remember what it was like not to have to worry about those things.  If there wasn't any extra I think I could deal with it as long as there was *enough*.

So I'm hoping.  I hope Eric doesn't get caught in the rain walking from the bus stop to the place and end up looking like a wet dog.  I hope his interview goes well.  I hope if he gets this job he'll be able to start quickly.  And I hope we'll be able to start climbing out of this hole.

So if anyone would like to send some prayers, positive vibes, good juju, or whatever in our direction, we'd appreciate it!  We just really need to get our feet in the right direction here, so we can work our way back up.

Selling Your Silver & Gold

Here's something you may not know about me.  On Sundays I spend my day at a kiosk in the mall buying silver and gold.  Right now gold is WAY UP!  And it may be the time to cash in on whatever old or broken jewelry or old silver coins you've got sitting on your dresser.  Before you go, here are a few tips.

The first thing you're going to want to do is check the market price of gold and silver.  As I'm writing this, the current price for is $1,882.33 per ounce of 24k gold, and it's NEVER been higher!  Silver is currently sitting at $43.21 per ounce, and is also at an all time high.  You may decide to go right away, or you may decide to wait a month or two to see how prices fluctuate.  It's up to you.

Next you're going to want to sort through all your jewelry, silverware, etc. to try to separate what's real from what's fake.  There are several ways gold buyers test your precious metals.  The first thing they will do is something you can do right at home.  Gold and silver are NEVER magnetic!  Take a magnet to whatever you plan on bringing in and anything that sticks should stay home (unless you're going to, say, a pawn shop who will take costume jewelry and resell it).  If a clasp sticks to the magnet, but the rest of your chain doesn't, you're fine.  The spring inside the clasps aren't usually gold.

Now check carefully for any markings. 
Silver should be marked .925 (sterling silver) or .999 (fine silver)
Gold is usually marked simply with the karat, but not always:
10k or 417
14k or 585
18k or 750
22k or 917
24k or 999
Anything marked with one of the codes below is gold *plated or filled*  or just plain not gold at all.  Most places won't take it.
RPG
KGF
EGP
EGF
EPNS (usually on flatware)
14k PT
Gold plated (duh)
Anything with a fraction involved: 1/10, 1/20 etc
Rolled Gold
RGF
GEP
And some popular brand names:
Monet
Avon
Swank
Sarah Conventry
Lia Sophia

If you've got silver candlesticks they are weighted in the base with sand.  Don't expect to get paid for the full weight.

OK, so now you know what's real and what's not.  For the most part.  Some jewelry isn't marked at all and just because it's not magnetic doesn't mean it's gold.  And just because it's not marked gold doesn't mean it isn't.  So your gold will be tested further by the gold buyer.  Before you go though, if you can, weigh your gold.  Where I work the unit of measurement we use is the pennyweight, or dwt.  To put it in perspective, there are 20 dwt in an ounce.  Some places use grams, but I'm going to go ahead and continue with dwt because it's a unit of measurement I feel comfortable with.  If you can weight your gold at home you'll be able to give yourself your own estimate of what to expect when you sell.  Remember those gold codes?  10k or 417 etc?  Those numbers are important.  10k gold is 41.7% pure gold.  14k is 58.5% pure gold.  And so on.  So in order to figure out how much your gold is worth you will take the current gold price, multiply it by the percentage of pure gold in your particular karat, divide by 20 (to get the price per dwt), and multiply by how many dwt you have. 

Example:  Gold is at $1,882 and let's say I have a bracelet that's 10k gold and weighs 6dwt.
1882(price of 24k gold/oz) x .417 (amount of pure gold in 10k) = 785 (worth of 1oz of 10k gold)
785 (what 1oz of 10k gold is worth) / 20 (dwt in an oz) =  39.25 (how much 1dwt of 10k is worth)
39.25 x 6 (weight of my bracelet) = $235.50

Now... just because your bracelet is *worth* $235 you aren't going to get that price for it.  It still needs to be taken and melted down at a refinery and your gold buyer needs to make a profit.  This is where it gets tricky and you really need to shop around for the best price.  Look in your paper, look on craigslist.  Tell your potential buyers what you've been offered before.  Tell them how much YOU want and they can either afford it and accept it or they'll make you an offer they can afford.

Before you start talking prices, your gold will be tested.  Aside from the magnet test and checking for marks (which you've already done, right?) the gold buyer will take a residue from each piece.  This doesn't harm your pieces (unless it's really fake and spray painted on there), it just makes a mark on their stone so they can swipe some acid over it.  This will confirm the gold (or silver) is real, and also tell what karat the gold it if it hasn't been marked.  It should be separated by karat before it's weighed.  And ALL of this should be done in front of you (which also means you SHOULDN'T send your gold through the mail!!).  If it seems like they are going to take it away to a separate counter, speak up!  Ask questions.  "What karat was that?"  "How much did that weigh?"  And so on. 

Just a one more tip before I send you on your merry way.  If you've got gemstones in your pieces they can probably removed.  You are being paid for the weight of the gold, not the gems or craftsmanship of the peice.  If you think your jewelry is worth more than just the price of the gold, absolutely try to sell it elsewhere.  Craigslist is always my suggestion.  Happy selling!

Library Fines

It's been forever since I've been to the library.  Quite some time, actually.  I wasn't surprised when I was told I had a fine on my account.  Why do you think I've been avoiding the library in the first place!  I've had this fine for, jeez, almost a full year!  I'm surprised they haven't sent it to a debt collector yet.  I hadn't even recieved any neon colored mail with URGENT on the top.
Yes, I kept overdue books and returned them through the drop box to avoid overzealous librarians.  But I promise I had a good reason!  Well, during the 3 weeks I had the books in question, I gave birth to Lucas!  You can understand that I couldn't rush to the library when they were due.  I could've called but... Well, I didn't.  So, I'm thinking all this time that I owe $36 for the 6 books that were over due for over three weeks.  And I really didn't feel like paying almost 40 bucks to the library.  I mean, I go to the library in the first place because it's free!
Well, I've been needing my fix, so I went today and sucked it up and paid my fine.  It wasn't $36.  It wasn't even $20.  It was only $9!  Lucky me!  And now I have no guilt. 
Nine bucks for 6 books?  I'm so glad the library is cheap!