I Want to be More of a Cougar

Wait.. not *that* kind of a cougar!  

My son's school's mascot is a Cougar, and today was Cougar Day, basically a field day for the kids.  Lucas acted up at every opportunity: running onto the field during crab soccer, stealing hula hoops from the girls, throwing tantrums when I picked him up... typical two year old stuff. 

Matt seemed to have a lot of fun, but he really sucked at crab soccer!  Probably because he was actually doing the crab walk with a few other stragglers, while the rest of the class just scooted on their behinds, giving their mothers grass stains to deal with, I'm sure.  He did really great in the obstacle course, and loved the tug of war.  I'm glad I got to see it, and I'm sorry that I don't have any pictures.  The batteries died in my crappy camera.  AGAIN.  I've changed the batteries twice already this week, and I'm just about fed up.  If anyone knows of a blogger doing a camera giveaway, please, PLEASE let me know! 

While we were there I saw Samantha's mom.  Samantha is the (only) little girl that came to the boys' birthday party at BounceU.  We talked for a bit.  At yesterday's graduation there was a slide show, and one of the pictures was Matthew and Samantha in a little play house, peeking out the door together.  Too freakin' cute!  So we talked about that.  And some other random, insignificant stuff.  And all the while I'm thinking, how can I be friends with you?  She just seemed to be talking to everyone and I felt like such an outsider. 

In the beginning of the school year I signed up for the PTA.  I missed the very first (out of only 3!) meetings because that's the night I had to rush Lucas to the hospital.  Thanks to my work schedule, I missed the following two meetings as well.  And also thanks to my work schedule, and having Lucas around, I was never able to volunteer during any events.  So basically, I don't know anyone involved with the PTA.  I didn't make any mom friends this year at all.

There were some really cool looking moms there.  One in particular had long hot pink hair, wore her Cougar Day 2012 shirt off the shoulder, and her son's hair was cut in the coolest mohawk I've ever seen.  I want to be friends with her!  Then there was the class mom ( I guess) who seemed to know all kinds of things about Matthew and was really really sweet.  I'd be friends with her, too! 

So what's the problem?  I used to be really outgoing, never had a problem making friends.  Now I barely have any.  We've lived here for four years, so my "we're new" excuse is waaay expired.

The problem is... I'm really embarrassed by how poor we are.  That's it, people, that's why I don't pipe up like I normally would have. 

• Our apartment is kind of small.  And the furniture doesn't really match.  And there's stuff and clutter all over the place.  Seriously, who has a deep freezer and an empty grandfather clock cabinet in their dining room?  So there isn't much space for playdates.
• I live in the projects.  Not really, but apparently they used to be, because when I tell people where we live they always say "Oooohhhh, in the projects!  I know where you're talking about."
• We don't have a car.  "Why don't you meet up with us at (where ever)?  It would be fun!"  "Sounds awesome!  Think there's enough room for me and two extra boosters in your car with you and your kids and your boosters?"  Or, perhaps, "Do you know if there's a bus stop near there?"

  So when I gave Samantha's mom the free passes for BounceU that I've been saving for her since the party, and she suggested we take the kids there all together, I had a mini panic attack in my head.  Yes, that sounds like it would be so much fun, but how the hell would I get there?  I told her I'd Facebook her about it. 

At least now I have a new Facebook friend.

And maybe it's not so bad as I'm making it out to be.  There are places we could meet that I could easily walk to, including the pool and the Crayola Factory (where we haven't been yet).  Maybe I just need to be more creative.  And since Eric started his job and I don't work the weekdays anymore maybe next year I *will* be able to participate more in the PTA.  I *will* be free to volunteer for evening events.  I *will* get to know all the cool moms there, and hopefully the chick with the hot pink hair.

Guest Post: Tips for Transitioning into Motherhood

Hi everyone!  Memorial Day weekend is upon us and we have lots of fun planned for the extended weekend, and I'm sure you do, too.  Now, for many of us, Memorial Day is the kick-off to summer, and we're all looking forward to those hot summer months.  We're not *quite* there yet, though.  It's still May, and I recently learned that May is Pregnancy Awareness Month.  So today, in honor of pregnancy awareness, I'm featuring an article written by Katie Moore that is especially helpful to moms to be and moms with brand new babies.

Preparing for Delivery and Motherhood

As you ready yourself for motherhood with time spent at the doctor, redecorating the bedroom and purchasing baby supplies, you're probably wondering what else you can do to plan for the coming weeks and months. Reading books, consulting with your doctor and talking with other mothers will answer questions you didn't know you even had. These resources should help give you a well-rounded picture of what life will truly be like when your baby arrives.

In preparing for delivery day, you will need to choose the setting where you wish to give birth, who will be present for the birth and what to pack for a hospital stay. Developing a birthing plan and giving a copy to the doctor or midwife is a great way to help the birthing experience go as smoothly as possible. Include your choices on pain management, how you would like the atmosphere of the room to feel and what optional procedures, like cord blood banking, you’d like performed. Umbilical cord blood banking is planned for before birth and is performed immediately following delivery; it is where cord blood is collected and then stored at a private facility for possible future medical treatment.  

On the day of the birth, rely on your support persons for comfort and encouragement. Playing music you enjoy during the event will give your mind something to focus on. When your baby is born, bonding will begin. Skin-to-skin contact with your baby will help you both become familiar with each other. Feeding can also begin right away, especially if you are breastfeeding. Getting your baby to latch on may be a little difficult even though they are born with the instinct. It is a great idea to get help from a lactation consultant or other medical professional to be sure your baby is feeding enough.

Once home with baby, your life as a new mother will likely be exhausting and exciting. Late night feedings and fatigue from delivery will make the first few days tiring; sleeping when the baby is sleeping, even if it’s only for a short time will help you catch up on rest. If you begin to feel moody or weepy, don’t just attribute those feelings to being tired. “Baby blues” are feeling that many women get after birth because of the hormonal changes that a woman’s body goes through. Talk to trusted family or friends if you are feeling similarly; if your feelings develop into something stronger, contacting your doctor is the next step to avoid postpartum depression.

It will be important for you to take care of yourself just as well as you take care of your baby. Continuing to maintain a healthy diet and slowly working physical activity back into your routine will help speed along recovery and promote weight loss of any weight gained during pregnancy. Be sure to wait until your six-week postpartum check up with your doctor before starting any exercise routines other than walking and stretching. 

Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy.  She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people.  To connect with Katie, contact her via her blog, Moore from Katie, or her twitter, @moorekm26.

Confessions

I was NOT a happy momma when I found out I was pregnant with Lucas.
Some friends of ours were in their last stage of pregnancy when the mom to be gave me her baby name book.  I took it, not thinking I'd be needing it anytime soon.  When there son was born I got a BAD case of baby fever.  "Oh, babe, Matt is getting so big!  And Camren (our friends' son) is so cuuuuuute!" I cooed to Eric almost every day.  About two weeks after Camren was born I found out I was pregnant.  And my case of baby fever was instantly cured.  Not in a good way, like Oh, yay, I'm pregnant!  Cured as in I'm sorry!  I was only JOKING!  I didn't MEAN IT!

I don't want to gross you out with TMI about implantation bleeding, so let's just say that I had a sneaking suspicion that I successfully ignored until I was late.  The pregnancy was harder than my first.  I'm not old, but I was older.  I passed out on the couch everyday in those early weeks to wake up frantically calling for Matt, who was always playing like an angel in his room or watching a movie or napping on the other couch.

I had trouble sleeping.  My hips couldn't stand the pressure of lying on my side so I spent my nights in my last trimester waking up every two hours to slowly roll over.  Pshh, I actually got more sleep AFTER Lucas was born because he only woke up every three hours during the night.  I couldn't sit down, or stand up, or bend over.  I bought myself new shoes so I wouldn't have any laces to tie.  I ripped 3 pairs of jeans trying to fight the laws of volume and mass.  I couldn't pick up my FIRST baby, my buddy, my Matty Matt!

I HATED being pregnant again, and I was NOT convinced it was going to be worth it.  I wasn't excited at all.  It was PD.  Partum depression.  There were a few highlights.  I was lucky enough to have 3 ultrasounds.  Well, not lucky, because the reason for them was to watch a cyst on my ovary that needed to be removed and was giving me a lot of pain, but I got to see Lucas' face with the 3D ultrasound.  And he looked SO MUCH like his brother, even in-utero.  There were more low points than highlights though.  Even regarding the ultrasounds.  My eyes filled with tears when the tech pointed out his little boy parts.  I was hoping for a girl.  And my first reaction was a deep disappointment.  Now, my very next thought was along the lines of Matt would LOVE a little brother to chase him around! but still.  That first thought brought tears to my eyes, and the tech definitely noticed.

It took forever to name him.  We had both been focusing on little girl names.  We never came close to agreeing, but we hadn't even bothered talking about boy names those first 20 weeks.  I was 30 weeks pregnant when we finally settled on Lucas Adam.  And as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think either of us really like the name Lucas very much.  Still.  I sometimes wonder how people would react if I announced that we would start calling him Adam instead.

And my C section.  Ugh!  I was planning on a VBAC, but with the discovery of the cyst my OB and I decided it would be best to have a repeat C section so they could go in there and get that bad boy out (it ended up being 10cm big!  Glad to have it gone!).  Ok, fine, I could deal with a scheduled C section.  What pissed me off was that it didn't get scheduled until 6 days prior!  And my husband was store manager of a GNC that was WAAAY out of the way of all the other stores in his district.  And his part timers were useless.  And his superiors were useless.  And they said that if the store didn't open he would lose his job.  So... he took me to the hospital on the morning of, and had to leave for work, over an hour away.  And my mother in law was taking care of Matt, and my mom... would have LOVED to be there, but sometimes theses things are impossible when you live a thousand miles away from each other.  So, yes, I was alone, except for the anesthesiologist, who was awesome (and kind of cute).

I spent my entire pregnancy up to that point worrying about how much harder it would be to have twice as many kids.  I know two kids aren't a lot, but two IS twice as many as one.  I worried about having to take care of a newborn baby and missing out on spending time with Matt.  I worried that he would feel as if I had abandoned him.  I worried that I might not love Luke enough.  I worried that I might not love Matt as much anymore.  I worried that Matt would be horrible around the baby.  I worried that Luke's birthday would take away from Matt's birthday (Matt's bday is April 2nd, Luke was due April 1st.  Because of the C section, their bdays are 8 days apart.).  I worried that I would spend another 3 months of my life crying all night because the baby wouldn't sleep (like I did with Matt.).  I was worried about my relationship with Eric falling apart.  We had barely made it those first few months after Matt was born, and I KNEW that this time would be worse.  My whole life was about to shatter and fall to pieces at my feet. 

As they were wheeling me into the OR, I got STUPID excited.  All of a sudden I had a HUGE grin on my face.  The anesthesiologist actually asked if I was ok because of the stupid face I was making.  Whew, I had been waiting for those feelings for 9 months, and they finally arrived.  Better late than never, right?  When they laid him in my arms, I finally fell in love again. Just like that.

Everything I feared disintegrated.  Matt ADORED that tiny little baby.  Eric was ridiculously helpful and involved.  Lucas slept like a champ.  We settled into such a quick routine that we were confident and comfortable enough to have Matt's 4th birthday party and a meet & greet for Lucas the weekend after we got home from the hospital.

I love my boys.  Both of them.  To the moon and back.  It's quite a phenomenon, really.  I am fairly certain I don't want any more kids.  Eric is fairly certain he wants one more.  We have some time to decide yet.  Either way, I'm MORE that certain that if we did end up having another child, I am well equipped to handle it. 

What Goes In Must Come Out

Moms of younglings, question: Why is it people think we are obsessed with poop? Answer: We talk about it all the time! We don't even realize we do it. We are, on a daily basis, up close and personal with our kids' business ends. We know when there's a difference in color, texture, or smell. And it's our job to figure out what causes these changes. So we conjecture aloud to whoever happens to be near.
My husband complains that I'm either comparing our baby's poop to food or I'm talking about it while he's trying to eat (or both at the same time!). I don't even realize it. Half the time I need to change a stinky diaper I'm in the middle of a meal myself. If it grossed me out as much as it did him, I'd definitely be a few pounds lighter.
I have seen shades of green and yellow I never knew existed. I've seen green so unnaturally neon that for days I watched for emerging super powers. I've seen chunks of fruit come out exactly the same way they went in (a sure sign he wasn't quite ready, I think). I have even seen a strand of my own hair that I had to finish pulling out.
Yes, when you're the mother of a child in diapers poop sure does become a bigger part of your life. And talking about it is inevitable.